Self Care for Activists

In the hospital’s dimly lit imaging center, a light-show flickers on the small TV screen where a human heart – my heart – beats out a rhythmic wa-woosh, wa-woosh to moving images of blue blood coursing through one ventricle, then red blood through the other. I’m fascinated by this cosmic dance of life happening before my eyes as I embody it simultaneously in my chest. 

I grip the book I’m reading, Human Heart, Cosmic Heart. Dr. Thomas Cowan puts forth a radical hypothesis that the heart is not merely a pump. There is no way a 10-ounce muscle can push blood through a circulatory system so vast that, laid out, capillaries alone would cover a football field. His research re-examines the properties of water, electricity and energy, offering a new paradigm of spiritual-physical interconnection that might reveal solutions to the environmental issues we face today. I am captivated.  

 The nurse shifts the cool sensor on my skin. On the screen a sudden burst of light appears, from white to yellow, orange and red, like a struck match exploding into light. Bu-bump! Another explosion on the screen and life within me. Bu-bump! And another. I suddenly have a new,  profound connection to my beating heart, the power source for my life, love and passion.

The tests are to assess some palpitations I’ve been having lately. Is it stress or mechanical dysfunction? Turns out it’s a combo.

Stewarding a small parcel of land in Colorado’s high country, I live in tune with nature’s activity and rest, growth and stillness, ebb and flow. A nature-based empowerment coach, I teach people how to listen and translate the ways of the natural world  into personal healing and self-actualization. It’s ancient wisdom that creates healthier patterns and empowerment; flexibility, adaptation, and interconnection.  

A trained sacred arts practitioner, I use spiritual activism to lift earth healing and human enlightenment into the quantum field. I believe this magic exists. Dr. Cowan’s theory provides a window to this possibility. 

In conjunction, I also work as a grassroots organizer for campaigns to protect wild lands in the west. I work the trenches, fortifying foxholes with stalwart supporters and loading the ammo of letters to the editor, social media posts, rallies, meetings upon meetings with diverse stakeholders wrangling the issue of how to manage our public lands. Occasionally, I travel to Washington D.C. to speak truth to power. I focus on daily offense and defense, keeping my eye on the long term prize – doing my part to leave the world a better place for future generations.

The physical, mental, emotional and spiritual challenge for me and others working for a healed planet is holding our sense of purpose in a political and social paradigm that seems hell-bent on stopping forward progress and undoing the environmental accomplishments of an entire generation. It’s enough to blow a gasket, and indeed, Environmental Depression is now an actual psychological diagnosis and rising sharply, especially among children and young adults. Who can blame them?

As an environmental activist and community leader for the past 40 years, caving in is not an option. We are needed now, whole, healthy and present, to lead and help the next generation, so that they can lead the next and so on. So, how does one hold hope, enthusiasm, equilibrium, and build deep resilience in the face of environmental chaos?  

Activist, Heal Thyself! If ever there was a spiritual leader for environmentalists, it is Joanna Macy, pioneer in deep ecology, systems theory, social activist, Buddhist philosopher. Macy’s sweeping work over the past 50+ years addresses the disconnect between humanity and nature. She has developed practical ways people can reweave the physical and spiritual web of life through self-awareness and healing. Her Work That Reconnects is profoundly empowering, illuminating, and inspiring.  Macy’s books, Coming Back to Life: Practices to Reconnect Our Lives, Our World  and Active Hope: How to Face the Mess We’re in Without Going Crazy, offer personal and group tools for maintaining equilibrium by reframing the work that needs to be done and one’s personal role in it.

The most important thing I’ve learned from Macy is that while I can feel immense Anger, Fear, Powerlessness, and Grief about the situation of the world, the depth of those emotions comes from the same source as my Passion, Trust, Capacity, and Love. It’s up to me to choose where to focus my source energy, that precious ignition happening in my heart every second. I can avoid a lot of suffering and stay more effective in my work if I’m not wasting energy wringing my hands, being ticked off and cynical. And, I’m a lot more fun to be around, so I’m told.

Connect vs. Separate: Another tool in my toolbox for staying sane is remembering that I am not alone. Like many activists I know, I tend toward a martyr belief, where it’s all on me to save the world. A few years ago, in one of my nature-based empowerment camps, I had an 11-year-old girl who worried so intensely about how she could save the Earth that she had developed an ulcer. Working with her taught me to let go of my own sense of separateness. Now a flourishing high schooler, she has connected me with a new tribe of young environmental warriors to mentor.

We each have gifts and networks to share those gifts. Find your stream and work in the flow of it. That’s not to say there won’t be rough waters there, but you can deal with that because it’s your stream and you are working from a place of love and passion. If everyone found one thing to do in their life’s flow, that’s 8 billion actions – think of that!

Build bridges: Embrace your curious “beginner’s mind” in conversations with those who don’t agree with you. Ask questions that help broaden the conversation. As Joanna Macy says, “Watch out for thinking that there is a correct dogma. There isn’t. Instead, we have to find a way to live in mutual respect in a field of uncertainty. We must relieve ourselves of having to have the answer. We can do this by linking arms with each other.” (I’ve also found it helpful to turn off the social media pollution and turn down the news.)

Through open curiosity we can learn what the roadblocks are and work to dismantle them by finding common ground. Honestly, our greedy egos and hubris got us into this spot; it makes sense to set them down in order to find solutions.

Reframe Resilience: Climatologist, Dr. Jem Bendell, laid out a pretty devastating picture of the future in his paper Deep Adaptation (2018), but tucked into all the dire science, I found a nugget that gives me hope. He frames a new version of Resilience, different from the “pick yourself up and get back to the status quo” version I learned from riding horses. He advances resilience, relinquishment and restoration as a framework for dialogue and pathways forward in the face of the climate crisis.. He challenges us to adapt by facing existential questions. “Resilience asks us, ‘how do we keep what we really want to keep?’ Relinquishment asks us, ‘what do we need to let go of in order to not make matters worse?’ Restoration asks us, ‘what can we bring back to help us with the coming difficulties and tragedies?”

Take Spiritual Sustenance:  Joanna Macy posits that during these times, which she calls The Great Turning, there are three kinds of activism, all valid, necessary and interconnected. These are: 
1) actions to slow the damage to Earth and its beings; 
2) analysis and transformation of the foundations of our common life; and 
3) a fundamental shift in world-view and values (Learn more). 

There is a fourth that I’ve found on my personal journey and this is Spiritual Activism. A dear friend, and spiritual mentor recently wrote to me, “The notion of effective activism devoid of spiritual underpinnings is a recipe for burnout, arrogance and self righteousness, leading to empty positionality and failure.  Spirit must be part of the equation.” 

In the swirling eddies where social, political, spiritual currents converge, there is a collective consciousness emerging around spiritual activism for humanity and the earth. I participate in global healing meditations for Earth and am devoted to my personal practice in nature of slowing down, listening, and restoring my soul. I watch films that inspire and read books that boldly offer new thought paradigms. I cuddle babies of all species because they are living Hope. 

A fellow earth guardian and mentor once told me, “Remember to savor the earth as much as you try to save the earth.” A week after my heart imaging tests, this wise council came to me as I received  my cardiologist’s diagnosis: “Yes, you have a new heart murmur, but you also have Broken Heart Syndrome, a condition where your heart’s health will deteriorate over time if you don’t stop caring so much about things you can’t change.”  As though being slapped back into reality, my perspective shifted. My clear purpose came into focus. I picked up my toolbox of powerful, magical skills and support, turned my love on myself and went on vacation.

Since then, occasional anxiety, even palpitations, remind me to go inward and pay attention. My heart – my power source – is reminding me to focus on what I can do.

Truly, this is an extraordinary time to be alive! It’s an adventure as well as a challenge, so please, have fun, laugh, sing, dance, and add to the joy on the planet. Know that what you are doing is enough. Fill your cup daily with connection to nature and people. Love your heartbeat. And always remember to savor the world as much as you try to save it.

This article was written for the upcoming MAHB Newsletter: Activism 2020